The Ravens Nest

The Movie, Not People…okay well the people that wrote this thing.

Okay, folks, I know this is not going to be very popular. In fact, I might annoy some of you with it but, let’s break down a few facts here.

1. I spent the money on the DVD and took it home

2. There were people insisting I see this movie and went on about how “great” it was. We’ll get to that.

3. I’d spent half the runtime ready until I saw there was no payoff.

So, with those established, if you don’t like my opinion of this movie and you love it, fine, I don’t care. I’m still gonna put this out there.

I’m gonna kick this off by being honest with you; this movie is garbage.

It straight-up rides From Dusk Til Dawn’s entire structure with very very little differentiation at all. Throughout the movie, every single beat was there, every single element screamed “WILL YOU JUST GET ON WITH THE FUCKING MOVIE I PAID FOR ALREADY!!!” and then…after all the stuff I was genuinely interested in (Delta-River Blues, an interesting take on vampires, the mythology, folklore aspects, all the stuff that actually, interested me) we got, “Oh yeah that was just window dressing. Here’s a vampire fight. Oh and homey’s brother got turned, bet you didn’t see THAT one coming did you? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

By that point, I was waiting for this movie to get good, give me something, anything that isn’t a From Dusk Til Dawn reference.

By the time it did that, here’s the Revenge On White People thing…again.

The trailer also did nothing at all to interest me. I had zero clue what to make of this movie from the trailer so I wasn’t initially interested. It was people who claimed to be my friends (I’m convinced many of them just wanted to waste my time because they thought it was humorous. I’m sure it was to them…) pushed and pushed this movie thinking I’d like it.

Can I share a little secret with you?

I know I write stuff for The Nocturneverse but I’m gonna share this, thank fuck it comes from my games because I despise my own writing. Always have. It always seems brilliant in the moment and then I go back to read over it and there are times I honestly wish I’d just kept that story in a notebook or something like that.

When this movie finished, all I could do was take the disc out in disgust, put it back in the case and wait until my local record store opened to go trade it in. I got three bucks for it but that wasn’t the part that really infuriated me. What infuriated me is that I genuinely enjoy writing The Nocturneverse and see that as more entertaining than this offering from Hollywood which was, let’s face a fact, another vessel for The Message.

Every single one of you knows what I’m talking about.

All the stakes were fucking pointless. Hell, by the end of the movie, none of the setup mattered worth a flaming fuck.

Chat GPT and Grok, even with their getting shit muddled could have written a more entertaining movie and that’s not saying much. If this movie wins awards, I know the bar isn’t set low, it’s buried deeper than Thrasamund in my Thousand Year Old Vampire stories which would make for an excellent series compared to Sinners.

Also, not for nothing …

…Isn’t. It. Funny. That. The Vampires. Weren’t. The. Racists?

I mean fine, yeah they’re monsters but you coulda just had the Klan thing, left the vampires out and still had a movie. One I wouldn’t have bothered with but still a movie. You can take the Klan element out and it wouldn’t have been anything other than a fucking afterthought that, like every other bit of setup in this shit film, got no fucking payoff.

I know, crazy how no vampire movies before this ever went in that direction…

More than I can say for the “humans” in this movie.

It sucked.

It’s no longer part of my library.

In Fact, This Movie Was Objectively More Entertaining.