The Ravens Nest

Three Members Failed…They Sent In “The Big Guns” This Time

Yep, it’s happened again. This has been going on for over a year now of people sliding into my DMs showing off some necklace they’re wearing or holding up a book or both in order to “prove their membership to The Illuminati*” and attempt to get me to join.

They’re never clear on why. They sure as shit have me all fucked up when it comes to being an artist or influencer. Shit I can’t influence motherfuckers to just give me a damn minute so if you want to talk influence, that shit’s out the window with a swiftness but let’s get into why I’m still having to deal with these clowns.

This time, the perpetrator in question is one Tommy Jackson. Understand, that all I’m posting is information readily available at ILLUMINATIact on Twitter. From what I’m understanding he used to go by tommyjacksontr, which I’m thinking he’s a trucker and that comes from the following screenshots in which he tells us his location is Federal Hills, Maryland.

So you have read all of this correctly, Tommy Jackson, a trucker from Federal Hills, MD is reporting as Illuminati HQ. With that out of the way, let’s get into why I’m writing this and I’ll just let you read the rest for yourself.

All hail? Aw hell…

Blood in, blood out? That’s not a secret society, that’s a fucking street gang, Tommy. Also, you got sloppy again. I followed your links and looked into them. Lookie what I found, there Tommo!

At this point, Tommy really only has three choices. Come clean, it all stays in DMs, it gets forgotten and we move on, keep up the bullshit and I expose him…spoiler alert, dudes and dudettes…or he could have just given me the solid proof. Allow me to explain. Tommy here is promising a cool two million a month, which…who wouldn’t want that, right? But the website has something rather provocative I want to share…

Okay so $500k per week, right? Now look, this speaks to the group’s core what I’m about to propose. Also, kills two birds with one stone…check it out. Third option…I’ll admit it’s nuclear but why shouldn’t I?

After that…

Oh nooooooooo! Whatever shall I do?

Here’s the thing, the website is open for anyone, literally anyone to join. They sell books and rings and necklaces and probably earrings…I think they have an official butt-plug, I’m only speculating here but all bullshit aside, I don’t think Tommy was a well-chosen advocate for the group here, if he was so duly chosen. In fact, the entire encounter was lackluster.

Tommy couldn’t articulate why he wanted my membership, only that I was “lucky” to have been “one of three selected this year” for a group with constant open enrollment. Let that shit sink in. Big promises and couldn’t deliver on any of them. I’ll be honest, if they gave me the car of my choice, I’d find a nice stick-shift pickup truck and just drive that. They’d find a lot of my choices just as lackluster as anything else. I don’t want or need high-end luxury because it’s of no use to me. Tommy, fuck’s sake, I play tabletop role-playing games. My favorites tend to be free ones. What makes you think I need something high-end and luxury? You wanna impress me? Have a $10k Futureproof Gaming PC sent to my address…dork.

BTW, Illuminati*, if this isn’t a representative of yours, you might want to set him straight because this does not make your membership look all that great. Just imagine if I were to join today and I didn’t get that weekly $500k paycheck deposited into my account, the car being offered or any of that other shit that was promised? Can you imagine the lawsuit? Imagine if it goes for six months or better with this idiot stringing people along? You could be sued for millions and yeah, you’d probably have to pay it because this guy spoke for you.

See the problem isn’t that I talk too much, it’s that I’m Gen-X and I have tons of questions. I was also a Corrections Officer at one point for a decade, I learned how to spot inconsistencies in stories. The Star Wars Sequels had fewer plot holes than what you came up with, Tommy.

Also, Tommy, why do you keep posting photos of the same Masonic Lodge? Seriously? That’s not inside baseball, here, bro. That’s information we got from tons of podcasts over the last 20 years.

If you find yourself on X or Twitter or whatever being “recruited” by these people, do yourself a favor and just block them. You can get the book they offer on Amazon pretty inexpensively. So much for “secret” society…