The Ravens Nest

…but they still appeal to the Screechlords citing that claim

That’s right, that title is not in error here. The Screechlord professional victim crowd is at it again (I guess they need something to do now that they’ve attended mandatory indoctrination courses at PAX Unplugged…just wish they’d unplug their rectums for a change) and boy, oh boy, have they come across my feed whether I want it, like it or not. Shall we kick off? I think we shall.

Well, as you know, we got started with Goodman Games putting a +1 dagger into the backs of their actual customers with their creator’s summit fiasco, thus prompting my open letter which will probably never be answered by the company nor it’s owner. Then, I came across this…

You’re right about a few things, Catie, we work (do you?) and we punch clocks and we deal with people just like you every day and we’re forced to remain silent and give you whatever the manager declares is reasonable to shut your screeching up because you failed to properly read signage, tags, coupons, etc and you find any reason to be unhappy. We take that money, after we pay our bills (do you?) and then we buy that book and, when we get it into our hands and we kick back on our couches or at our desks after the phone calls we place, the emails or text messages we send to our players who are probably eagerly anticipating this just as much as we are, then we open that thing up and smile and let our imaginations run wild for a moment.

It’s our reward for what you and, sometimes, the company, puts us through. It’s our reward for the things we have to endure. We do not need your permission to enjoy these games and we’re not asking for it. The attitudes we carry, we carry because you’ve made life a clusterfuck for anyone and everyone that dares defy your decree from on high (which is what I suspect you were when you composed this post…high.) Sometimes, Catie, you need reminders of things and I’m here to provide you with one.

Check out this infographic here and I hope it will illustrate something in the realm of tabletop fantasy games.

First thing I want to remind you of is that you and others like Dave Simpson claimed that the OSR was just filled with a bunch of Bellamy-Saluting, Goose-Stepping Nazis that screamed “WHAAAT PAAAWHER!” every time a Natural 20 was thrown on a successful roll. Now, suddenly, you care? Now, you demand that these games that you didn’t build, and others just like you have your myopic view applied to their business model when it has proven in more recent years to be a Critical Fail of a roll every time? Have we not paid attention to what happened to Coyote & Crow and Connor’s begging people to buy it and just shelf it or that wasn’t “being a good ally?”

Well then let me remind you of something in history here. When one of the staff writers went verbally HAM on someone criticizing the mask policy, which never worked, Troll Lord Games stepped in and shut it down immediately. It was one of their staff writers and, in his defense, the guy had a lot going on that week. Admittedly, I was disappointed in his post, however, when he apologized for that post and took it down, I talked to him. I knew well ahead of time that his life outside of the RPG space was one of those times that was super-stressful. I let him know, yeah it irked me that he’d pop off like that but I thought his apology was good, I’d get over it. He was still cool in my book. Here’s the thing, it was the only “offense” that he’d ever committed and I thought that, if there’s no path to redemption, then he wouldn’t be inclined to let the apology stand and just make games. He’s done that.

What did you and yours do, Catie? You spent two weeks flinging shit and making demands at Troll Lord Games. Did they fling shit back? No but they sure as hell didn’t take the back foot either. In the end, after a couple of weeks, max, you and yours were sent packing and told to properly fuck all the way off. Just over a year or so later, Troll Lord Games still makes games for the sake of making games and leaves it up to the Castle Keeper and players to decide how their table should run. That’s just to name one of the many examples.

Now somehow, in all of this you fuck up official D&D and when they, in turn showed everyone that they were no one’s friend, not even yours, you still walk around trying to come into this like that still works? Tell me something. What exactly is the path to redemption for Goodman Games?

I know what it is. A never-ending series of moving goalposts and purity tests until they fuck up one time too many and then you eat them. I’ve seen it over and over and over again. Stop pissing down our backs and telling us it’s raining.

We are past these conversations, Catie. We’re over them. We won’t be engaging in them anymore. Any company wanting to hold that conversation when it comes to my table gets persona non grata-ed smooth away until they course correct or go bankrupt.

Bud Light, anyone?

Then there was this person that I came across this morning…

Ah yes, the “enlightened one” has found his religion and wishes to indoctrinate everyone…or else.

I’m not going to bang my keyboard on that one again but I’ll summarize here.

Grew up during The Satanic Panic. Got the ultimatum. They Lost. I Won. Library Bigger Than Ever.

There shall be no negotiations and guess what, if everything is political to you, the persona non grata approach and the sound of my wallet snapping shut before being placed back squarely into my pocket, containing the money I earned from having to deal with you politely (only because I’m paid to) will also occur.

Here’s the thing, I’m older these days, I don’t move like I used to and I’m not as fast as I once was. I don’t have a duty to retreat and damn any “law” that states otherwise. Don’t come for me unless I send for you and you’ll be just fine. Stay to your corner, kid. That’s my libertarian values come in. If you choose otherwise then you’ll find this Vitki and Gothi of the tribe may just get a field promotion to Co-Thane as well and, to be honest, I’d rather leave that to myself until he steps down, dies or our Jarl finds someone better.

See, that last paragraph should be heavily indicative of my religion, which is one of peace. Me and ours are willing to leave you alone. Think of wolf packs. They really don’t attack people unless they get too close and threaten the den, they threaten one or …they’re hungry. You have a 1 in 3 chance of being attacked unprovoked but you have a 2 in 3 chance of being left alone. As long as you leave us alone, we’ll do the same for you. If not and you mess with one, be ready to face the entire pack until one side or the other is neutralized completely and in perpetuity. Don’t bring your religion to our den and it’s something you’ll never have to worry about. We’re not going to impose ours on you until you impose yours on us. See how that works?

Also, I’m used to what happens by choosing the “or else” and I’ve been doing it long before it was considered “safe” to do it.

In the eloquent words of a wise man named Ludacris:

“Yeek! Yeek!

Woot! Woot!

Why you all in my ear

talkin’ a whole buncha shit

that I ain’t tryin’ to hear?

Get back, motherfucker

You don’t know me like that”

Finally, let’s go back up and address that infographic again. What you’re currently seeing in there is mostly what’s considered Old-School Rennaisance, or OSR, games. They are clones that were meant to replace versions of D&D without violating copyrights and trademarks because Wizards of The Coast vaulted the originals for far too long and some were getting priced smooth out of the hobby by the Secondary Market being so expensive as the original books were out of print at the time.

I no longer consider Dungeon Crawl Classics nor Mutant Crawl Classics to be OSR as they’ve veered away from the true spirit of being games for the sake of gaming and have aimed themselves into the territory of “More virtue signaling because white people bad.”

I move that these games be removed from the infographic. MCC’s replacement is officially Dystopian Dawn 2526 by Tony Garcia & Fractured Brain Studios and DCC, I don’t think needs to be replaced unless you want to include Cha’alt by Venger Satanis to scratch that weird itch. To me, the Crimson Dragon Slayer d20 rule set is more akin to Original Dungeons & Dragons in how light it is, allowing you to just jump right into the game, rather than spend so much time in character creation and blah, blah, blah, though Venger has described it, if memory serves as O5R (Old 5E Rennaisance) and that’s something I can both see and accept. I would also recommend Wasted Lands: The Dreaming Age by Elf Lair Games as it has a modular ability to plug-and-play everything from Basic D&D Rules all the way up to 1st Ed. AD&D rules with built-in conversions. That’s a game that can be run right there with Elf Lair’s other offering Night Shift: Veterans of The Supernatural Wars which takes the same modular approach and places it in the modern day.

These games, like movies, music, & TV are all about escapism. For that little bit of time each day, week, month or year, taking that step away from things and taking a breath is about recharging our batteries and being refreshed so that we can effectively deal with just how much the world can sometimes absolutely suck. Maybe that’s the problem for some of these people is that their nu-religion has permeated everything and so, they have set out to see the bad guys everywhere, eventually becoming the very thing they hate now to escape what they hated being or being perceived as being.

You don’t need their permission, consent or approval to do any of that. Just do it.

In any case, I’m waiting for the “everything is political” crowd to politicize this little gem or kick in my door for having it…eventually they will.